There are benefits to being overwhelmed. I am extremely productive once I hit complete burn out. In an effort to stop thinking about Hope and the wait for a heart, I do everything and anything else. Sometimes that simply involves watching Shawn do the things I need done around the house. Tonight we were able to get a few of the curtains hung and a few more things on the walls as well. That always feels good and relieves some of the underlying stress. I could have continued watching him work all night long, but eventually he told me he was done for the night.
Today Hope continued to throw up, but was stable enough to stay in Calgary. They've decided that although Hope is walking a thin line, they'll try to work out some of the issues this weekend and see if we can stay in Calgary a little longer. Hope is now on 7.5 mg of her heart meds, the max dose is 20. With the vomiting continuing, they'll likely need to go up again but we do not want to get anywhere close to 20 until we know a heart is around the corner because there's no where to go from there.
It was nice to spend the night at home as a family tonight. Sadie was happy to have us both here and even sat down and watched a bit of our wedding video with us. It was the first time we've watched it since we were married 5 years ago. It was a good reminder to hear my brother's words to us at the wedding (he married us). At one point he said, "you need to be ready for difficult times and trials when they come, and they will come." Thank you Ryan, they did come and your words were a blessing the second time around too.
Hope is on pure breast milk now and is certainly not getting enough calories. Please pray we can find a solution that will work here in Calgary and do not need to head to Edmonton just yet. We are praying that our next drive to Edmonton is for a new heart.