Crafts and Kicks

Another weekend has passed bringing us closer to meeting Hope.  On Sunday morning as we woke up I placed Shawn's hand on my stomach and he was able to enjoy Hope's kicking for the first time.  It is always such a beautiful thing when the dad gets to feel the baby kick for the first time and it all becomes more real.  We are so grateful that Hope will continue to grow and develop normally while she waits in the womb to meet the outside world.  At this point, her body is totally unaware of her missing left ventricle.

On Saturday morning we took Sadie to a Santa Claus breakfast at the community centre next to our house.  As we expected, santa was not a welcomed sight in Sadie's day and she cried as soon as she was near him.      

second attempt was also a fail

no love for santa at the mall

We've come to realize that we won't get a photo of Sadie smiling on Santa's knee this year no matter how many different Santas we bring her to visit!

After the breakfast, Shawn headed home with Sadie while I looked around the craft sale at all the treasures.  I was looking at some really pretty hats and started chatting with the women that were making them.  They were both moms and began asking me questions about my pregnancy.  Naturally, it gets to a point where I would either have to lie or share the situation with Hope.  As I shared with these women they began to cry, one of them reached onto the table and handed me a little teal hat and said that she wanted Hope to have it.  I obviously started to cry myself, I was so touched by her kindness and felt overwhelmed that a stranger wanted to give a gift to our little girl.  With Hope's circulation being poor, hats will be real important for her after she's born.  I love the hat and will definitely order more from 'Hoots n' Hats' if we need them for Hope.  I put a picture of the hat below in case any moms in Calgary are looking for a great company to order hats from!

Hope's first hat!

On Friday morning (I seem to be going through the weekend backwards!) I was blessed with a Sadie-free morning.  My second cousin, Cheryl, took Sadie so I could finish up my Christmas shopping at the mall.  It was so nice not to have someone telling me when I should be finished looking!  It was also a tough morning on me emotionally as I walked around the mall.  I realize that I'm expecting a baby, but it still feels almost odd to buy things for her.  I was looking at some things in the Bay and I felt like a woman without kids that was buying baby clothes for no reason.  It really is a step of faith to buy things for our Hope when we don't know how long we'll have her.  I really believe it's an important step for me in trusting God with Hope and moving forward, believing that I will have her.  Shawn also reminded me that there are so many babies in need and if we weren't able to use the things we buy, we could always bless someone else with them.

I stopped in the Pottery Barn to buy another Christmas stocking and as I checked out, the cashier asked, "would you like to donate to the Alberta Children's Hospital?"  It was just another reminder of where we were headed and how much I would need the Children's Hospital in the years to come and how fortunate we are to have one so close.  I'm coming to the conclusion that no matter what I do, I can't get away from the reality that faces us with Hope and it reminds me to be on my knees.  I don't have the strength to go Christmas shopping without asking God to give me the strength I need so I won't sit on the floor in the mall and cry.  I did sit on my kitchen floor and sob for Hope in the afternoon on Friday but was able to pull myself together and know that we had friends coming over with dinner that night to keep us busy and remind us that we are not alone.  We are truly blessed by those around us and some days that is the only thing that makes you get off the floor!

We have our next ultrasound in 10 days.  We won't have any medical updates until then but we'll do our best to keep you in the loop with how we're doing overall.