A New Year with new fear...

2012 is only 5 hours away.  It's hard to believe another year has been completed and a new one is about to begin.  2012 will be an interesting year for our family with so many unknowns.  Currently Sadie has croup and has been having a difficult time sleeping and eating.  She goes through phases of happy and miserable all day.  I wonder if Hope will be cranky when she's sick or if she won't know what it feels like to be healthy when she's a baby.

We got a call this week from the Stollery Children's Hospital in Edmonton.  We've been booked to go there February 9 and 10th to have an echo, ultrasound and a meeting with all the surgeons, cardiologists, neonatologists and anyone else that will be involved in Hope's case.  This is when a lot of our questions will be answered and reality will set in further after a tour of the hospital that Hope will start her life out in.  They also let us know that I'll be delivering at the Royal Alex hospital and will have to stay for at least 24 hours after birth.  This was difficult to hear and caused some tears.  Although they are going to try their best to give me some time with Hope, she won't be with me for long before they take her and Shawn over to the Stollery hospital by ambulance.  I already mourn the loss of those first 24 hours with my baby and yet I feel excited for Shawn to have those precious moments with her.  Shawn will be able to give her the love I can't and he won't have to share her with my mom and I at all!

We've decided to leave Sadie in Calgary during this visit to Edmonton.  We know that she's going to be spending many days away from us after Hope is born and needs to start adjusting.  We've never left Sadie for more than one night.  This will be her first time going for 2 1/2 days without seeing either of us.  We've asked some good friends of ours to take her, so we know she'll be very happy with them and feel safe as well.

During my pregnancy with Sadie I developed SPD (Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction).   It's basically a big word for very sore hips!  As I got bigger with Sadie I started to have a lot of pain while walking and eventually started to have my hips lock and not be able to move.  I was treated throughout the rest of my pregnancy to keep me on my feet and for a long time after she was born to get me back to the normal position.  I started treatments as soon as I found out I was pregnant with Hope and have done very well until this week.  I'm starting to feel that same pain as I'm walking and would ask that you join me in praying it does not get worse and that I'll be able to continue walking and playing on the floor with Sadie.

January 18th is my next echo on the baby's heart and my next OB appointment.  Until then I won't have any medical updates for you, just a reflection of the journey in my heart to share.  I hope you all have a wonderful New Year and I wanted to thank you again for continuing to pray for our family into the new year as well.  I'm home alone, Shawn is snowboarding, as the year changes but I didn't want to bring Sadie near any healthy children.  It's a small taste of the future, I know that being Hope's mom will cause me to miss out on other things in life.  I'm learning to value the time with my child and choose to not miss out on her instead!