Saturday, 13 October 2012

Hope Holly Lincoln

Today was the Heart Beats run in Calgary.  I spent a lot of time training for the run through the summer and had talked (guilted) a lot of others to join Shawn and myself for the run as well.  Over 60 of our friends and family were signed up to walk or run for Hope, Holly and in memory of Lincoln.  I had looked forward to this event and seeing so many people that I care about.

It's been a tough day to miss something I've looked forward to for months.  I've been touched to see the pictures that so many have posted of the event.  I sat and cried after going through the albums.  I'm overwhelmed with gratitude for everyone that came out, and utterly devasted that we weren't there with them.  I know it's silly and I have bigger things to worry about, but it's the little things that really get me most days.

Shawn and I went out together and ran through the neighbourhoods surrounding the hospital.  We were both compeletely exhausted all afternoon, likely a mix of physical and emotional exhaustion.  We wanted to honour those that had given and done the run, even if we were in another city. 

Hope was given a pass in the late afternoon today.  We brought her back to the RMH and spent the evening here as a family.  She continues to not tolerate her feeds and I find it frustrating.  A healthy baby receives a 20k calorie diet of breast milk or formula.  They have been pushing Hope to take a 30k calorie diet of formula to keep up her weight.  It's simply too rich and is often not absorbing and being thrown back up.  I finally convinced them to move her down to a 28k calorie diet, but our issues continue.  Please pray for us as we pressure them to back off a little and give her tummy a break.  We're looking to move her to a 24k calorie diet.  This gives her more than a healthy baby, but doesn't push her so hard.  If we can show them that she continues to gain weight on that, they should let us continue with it. 

I've mentioned before that being in the hospital is easier if you don't know when you're leaving.  Now that I know we should have been discharged this week and weren't, I'm beginning to struggle more.  Please pray that Hope's MRI happens at the beginning of the week and we can bring her home.  I'd like to spend more time with Shawn and Sadie and have Hope with us as a family.

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