Last night as I was falling asleep in Hope's hospital room, I felt as though my throat was scratchy. This has happened in the past, a drink of water and a good nights sleep takes it all away. Sadly, I woke up this morning with the same feeling, a bad headache and an all-around yucky feeling.
My mom had to quickly get ready while I avoided Hope as much as possible. Shawn called his aunt to come pick up Sadie and I left the hospital as soon as possible. Hope spent the day with Nana and will now spend the night with Shawn. Shawn will have to get up and return to work, after a terrible sleep. My mom will be up early to get over to the hospital to send Shawn back to work. Sadie is sleeping over at Shawn's Aunt and Uncle's house.
I feel completely defeated and honestly, spiritually attacked. It seems so incredibly unfair to be laying here helpless. I want to be with Hope during her last week before surgery. If I can't be there, I'd like to be playing with Sadie. Everyone is inconvenienced and it's my fault, that feels terrible.
Hope did very well today, her belly is back down to 41.5 and appears to be holding well. She continues to be happy and comfortable. I think she was thrilled to be put back on the ward, she loves having someone with her at all times.
Please pray for protection upon Hope. Please pray that she did not receive any bad germs from me last night. That my Mom, Shawn or Sadie would not carry any of the germs I'm fighting off as well. Please pray for me, that I would get over this quickly. I also need strength to bear the discouragement and frustration I feel.