Wednesday 21 November 2012

By His Blood

I believe that Jesus Christ died on a cross, a gruesome and terrible death.  Not because he wanted to, but so we could receive forgiveness for our sins through His sacrifice.  To so many reading this blog, that sounds crazy and you don't believe it.  I truly wish you did.

Today I have watched my little girl bleed.  Hope has been bleeding all day, they don't know exactly where it is coming from and she is not stable.  We pray that the medications they are giving her will clot off her blood.  It will likely cause some other major issues for Hope and may very well clot off the shunt in her heart.  At this point, you have to do what will save her life and not focus on the consequences.  They need the bleeding to stop, not only to save her life, but to allow them to put a camera down her throat to find the source of bleeding.  If the bleeding continues, it's very difficult to see, and try to resolve the source of the bleed.

Hope's feeding tube is now being used as a drain to draw the blood out of her stomach.  Her diapers are full of nothing but blood.  Thankfully the blood appears to be thickening, a sign that the medication is working.  Hope is clearly uncomfortable and being given morphine for the pain she is feeling.  She is back on oxygen and on more new medications than I can keep track of.  I have not enjoyed much of today, as this is absolutely horrible to live through and it breaks my heart that the hospital is full of families in pain.

Hope is now in PICU and Shawn and I will spend the night cramped together on a single bed that is currently a chair.  Sadie had to be picked up and taken away once again.  It is more painful each time.  My sister is on her way to spend the next couple of days with Sadie.  Shawn's parents are in the city and my dad is flying in to join my mom tonight.  Shawn's brother is also here in Calgary.  My brother and his family live in Australia and are not able to be here right now.  I ache for my family that is not here and yet I hope they don't have a reason to come and bring a black suit.

I have cried a lot today.  The only thing that I truly find comfort in is knowing that, if God takes Hope, she will no longer feel pain.  That is why the blood of Jesus is so important.  Hope would spend eternity in paradise and never have an IV attempted on her again.  I pray that God saves her, but I also pray she doesn't have to suffer forever.

I'm not sure if Hope's life is going to be spared, but I pray that whatever happens to Hope, it saves the lives of others.  If Hope's story draws one person reading it to their knees, her life has served incredible purpose.  I pray that I meet people in Heaven and hear that they are there because of the difficult road that we have journeyed with Hope.  That is the only thing that could make this pain worthwhile.


56 comments:

  1. You are such amazingly brave parents. Hope's story has truly touched my heart. Praying for your miracle.

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  2. Crying. As I have several times today. But clinging to the same hope as you - and the same Jesus who DID die so the pain of this life isn't "it".

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  3. Praying for His miraculous intervention. Weeping for Hope and for you. Praying that His peace is poured out on you all.

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  4. Lord Jesus please heal Hope. We are asking for a miracle. Pour out your mercies upon her body. Lord please hear our prayer. We cry out to you for your healing touch Lord. Thank you for your goodness and your sovereignty.

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  5. Your faith is well placed. Whatever the outcome, we are all in God's Holy hands and His perfect will. Without even knowing you and your family, I deeply feel your agony and join you in crying out to our God to spare Hope.

    Jim G

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  6. I can say with certainty that Hope has changed and saved more lives in her few short months than many will in a lifetime. All her medical miracles are nothing compared to how a little girl without any words to speak has drawn so many back into relationship with Christ and lived out proof of His existence. May each of you feel the Holy Spirits presence with you tonight

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  7. Crying with your right now Amy. Hope has touched so many people's lives. I pray God will bring you peace and that he spares her life.

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  8. Amy, Hope has brought me to my knees. Her life has already served so much. She has made me stop many times through out the day and be grateful for what I have. I don't know you, or your family but my heart aches tonight. Hope and your family will be in our prayers.

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  9. I know the pain of seeing my baby girl suffer too. Praying so hard for you and your family!

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  10. Crying with and for you and praying for a miracle

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  11. I am a friend of Karen Scott and she has been informing a few of us at work of this difficult journey your family has been travelling. Please know that even you don't know us we are thinking and praying for you and your family and especially Hope.

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  12. I'm broken for all of you right now... I join you in crying out for healing and for God to work a physical miracle in Hope's little body. He is able, and He loves Hope and each of you both tenderly and fiercely... May the Lion of Judah come and battle on your behalf. May Hope grow to proclaim what the Lord has done with her own voice! Praying praying praying. -annie in toronto

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  13. We are praying for you and your sweet Hope. Hoping and praying for a miracle.

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  14. Crying as I read this. May the peace of Jesus fill your heart right now. You are an amazing testimony to true and unchanging faith in our God. May you be filled to overflowing with strength, courage and the wisdom you need right now. May you feel the hands of Jesus holding you and carrying you through this.
    Please, oh please God heal this precious baby girl. We pray for a miracle right now. Lord you are mighty and strong. Show your power & touch her little body. All the glory to you. We trust in you.
    Prayers will be continually going up.
    Blessings,
    Matt & Arian Schorr

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  15. I don't know you or your family, but you have touched me more than I can say. I have been and will continue to pray for Hope. It is so unfair that a little baby has to endure such pain, or that you have to suffer so much.

    I will continue to pray for Hope's miracle.

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  16. With a sob-filled prayer I just asked our Father to fill you with incredible strength and comfort and that He would heal your precious Hope. Your family is such a testimony!! Surely lives will be changed by your faithfulness to God through this time of anguish.
    Love Kim from Burlington ON

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  17. Amy, my heart just aches for you all. I have no words, only prayers.

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  18. So sorry for you and your family. We are hurting for you and praying with you. Praying that if God does not deliver her through this (which He can! and I will never stop believing that!), that she will be delivered into the arms of Jesus so that she will no longer suffer. All strength and courage and wisdom and peace be yours my friends. Heather and Mike VanBoom

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  19. Lifting you all up in prayer, my heart is aching for your precious Hope. I pray that the best would be done for Hope, whatever that may be. God has a plan for Hope and although it doesn't seem clear to us, I trust and pray that he is holding her in his strong, loving, comforting and healing arms. Thinking of you all.
    Sarah, Cobourg, Ontario

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  20. May the Lord continue to count each tear that flows from the body of Christ who are all lifting your sweet baby Hope up, pleading and requesting in confidence for a miricle to happen tonight for Hope. O'Lord answer our cries.
    Angie, Burlington, ON

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  21. I do not know you or your family personally, Graeme and Carissa Watt are friends of mine and so I have been reading your blog. The pain of seeing your child suffer must be severe and exhausting. I am walking beside another friend right now that is fighting cancer and I am constantly amazed at the way God is glorified through suffering. You words at the end of this latest entry, while praying for the very life of your daughter, you can see eternity, you can see where life truly lies. I am praying for your sweet baby, I am praying for you and your family. That peace beyond anything known to man would fill you. That God's very presence would be felt in that hospital room tonight. That the One whose blood covers us all would heal your daughter. That her pain would ease.
    May God truly bless you and Keep you.
    Ange

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  22. Prayers from Florida!

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  23. My heart is breaking for you right now. I have been following your blog for a long time now, and I want you to know how much you and your sweet Hope have touched my life. You, Amy, have strengthened my faith, and my hope is renewed. I am grateful that the lord placed you and your family in my life. My husband, three children and I have been fervently praying for precious Hope and we will continue to lift her up in prayer.

    "The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18

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  24. Praying and lifting up Hope tonight

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  25. My thoughts are with you and your family. I pray for you and your family to have Strength and Peace.

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  26. Crying and praying with you. Trusting in God's goodness for your family. His heart is intertwined with hers right now and always.

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  27. I don't know you personally but I have been following Hope's journey and lifting your precious daughter up in prayer. Praying fervently for you all.

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  28. Amy, Our hearts are breaking for you and your family. We will continue to pray for a miracle for this precious little angel. We have been following your blog through Erin for a long time now. You are an amazing woman Amy and a wonderful mom. Praying hard!
    Kimberley and Lloyd Farley

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  29. I echo this comment of another anonymous writer:

    "May the Lord continue to count each tear that flows from the body of Christ who are all lifting your sweet baby Hope up."

    I don't even know you, but your painful honesty and selfless love with which you write this testimony brings me to tears as I pray for Hope. All I know is that your little Hope has modeled the sufferings of Jesus and has witnessed the supportive family which is the church more powerfully than most people do in a lifetime.

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  30. i am praying because you have chosen this name for her - HOPE. each day as you share with us and cry out for us to pray with you and as we hear you pray and pour out your heart we feel, experience and know hope. your child, and your hope in our maker. Praying praying praying for your little girl....
    In His name - AMEN. pauline

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  31. http://youtu.be/vHjPHT-homc
    I often find comfort in song and this one is prayed over you and your family tonight.

    Matt Hammitt's third child was also diagnosed with HLHS and he wrote this whole cd about his and his wife's experience through it all.

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    1. This song is very beautiful! May it bring comfort and peace to all who need it today.

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  32. Sending many good wishes your way for a miracle....I have been following through a friend and my heart is just aching for you and your precious little angel....

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  33. Lord Jesus would you lay your healing hands on this little body, this little gift from you. Cover her with your presence and peace. Draw near to her earthly family Lord. Saturate every part of that room with You.
    Lord I pray for overwhelming peace and assurance for this entire family.
    I lift her and her family to you.
    Guide the eyes and minds of her physicians and nurses.

    I pray for a miracle.

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  34. We have friends whose son was born with HLHS and he is doing amazingly well now at "9years old"! He has been to Edmonton Childrens many times as well as Childrens in Vancouver for numerous additional health issues and we have almost lost him as well but we all stay strong with prayer and positive emotions! He has a number of additional health issues but is the happiest, most loving child you will ever meet! Our love & prayers to you all! Keeping strong faith is very important no matter what, our friends faith has stayed strong and their son is now in school fulltime with lots of friends!

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  35. I admire the strength that you all have as a family...it can't be easy to watch your baby suffer and it definitely can't be easy for Hope to go through all of those treatments. I respect you all so much for your courage. God has made a courageous, beautiful girl in Hope, and I pray for a miracle tonight. I pray that His peace covers you and that you may find rest in Him, if even for one night. God Bless You.

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  36. Hope is a precious name. We had a baby girl named Hope. I will be praying for your sweet baby. God bless you in your faith! You certainly "Live Like That" - Sidewalk Prophets.

    Warmly, Justine

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  37. You a beautiful person. Your faith is awesome. Praying that God gives you strength to continue this journey with such grace, and praying for miracles.

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  38. Praying for you and your family from California.

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  39. You have an amazing faith Amy God bless you for your faithfulness it has been a long hard journey for all of you, you are an awesome young woman who has shown such amazing grace. Praying for you all


    Anne (Scotland) xxxx

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  40. God will richly reward your faithfulness to Him. God bless and comfort you all. Love in Christ, Rosalind (a very distant cousin from Scotland)

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  41. I am praying for Hope, and for you and your family. I worked a night shift last night and prayed for her throughout the night.
    God is with you and He is good.
    Michele Carr

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  42. Father I come before you now on behalf of Hope and pray that YOUR healing touch be upon her. Father in Heaven there is no time frame and Hope is already healed for by HIS stripes we are healed and that is why Jesus came to die. Father I come in faith knowing that the scriptures are for us today and that praying scriptures over loved ones has more power than anything. You also say that where two or three are gathered there you are also amongst them. Father We know that you have plans for hope plans to prosper her and not to harm her to give her hope and a future. This little girl is in your hands right now and we pray that YOUR presence will draw near to her.

    Father I pray for her family that YOU will bring to them comfort, joy and peace that only you can bring and let them see that they can rejoice right now in YOU and give thanks and constantly be praising YOUR name.

    Father I can't even begin to imagine what they are going through as I do not have a family but I know that YOU have said let the little children come to me and do not hinder them. These are you children Father and I know you love them. As YOUR children we do not have to die young or suffer from the things of flesh and the world. We are of YOU. So Father I just pray YOU will comfort this Family and pour out YOUR healing powers among them and allow this to be used to glorify YOUR name. Comfort Hope Father please take away all her pain and Heal her completely so she can be the child who YOU created her to be.

    In Jesus name we pray in Faith Knowing YOU do all things and hear our cries

    Amen

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  43. No one knows why things happen. God truly does work in mysterious ways. I will pray for Hope, her family and all other families who are going through similar struggles. You have chosen a great name for your beautiful little girl. How could we not pray for "HOPE". May He bless each and everyone of you.

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  44. We've never met, but we are and will be praying.

    Darcy

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  45. I will be praying for your little Hope and your family as you travel this difficult road. I also have a little one and can't imagine the pain you are feeling.

    Bethany (a mommy from Red Deer)

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  46. What an incredible post about your love for Hope & ultimately for God's glory! I pray that God will heal Hope - and others will find Him through Hope's testimony and your family's! My thoughts & prayers are with you!

    Wendy (a mamma currently living in Norway).

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  47. You and your family have changed lives forever. Be encouraged. We've met a God through you that is faithful and never leaves. Hope has been revealed in the deepest sense of the word. Thank you for sharing God's story through your lives, especially through suffering. That is the part that makes this so real.

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  48. you dont know me but please know that i am praying for Hope and your family and will not stop till we have a miracle.

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  49. God has given you strengh and you're using it well. Bless you all.

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  50. Our children s lives are in the hands of god and his healers truly.
    As I sit I tear just trying to write as like you I am a mom of a HLHS who had every complication that was possible and he is now 9years old.
    I send you strength, encouragement that an hour will be better we never think of tomorrow but we think of a couple hours more and healing will come just be patient.

    I am holding your hand without you even knowing because I too am a mom sharing your tears at this very moment.

    Strentgth and prayers are sent to you and your partner.

    x0x0x0x0 Razzano Family , Squamish BC emiliosheart@hotmail.com if you need a listening ear ever.

    Pam (mom)

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  51. I wanted you to know even though i don't know you that i am fasting and praying for hope and for your family today. My heart is so broken for all you are going through, we went through something similar with my mom a few years back and i cannot imagine what it feels like to go through it with your baby. May the Lord bless you and keep you, may the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you. May the Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace. Praying praying praying! Blessings to you and yours...

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  52. We have never met, but I have been following since the start. I sit here with weeping with the heaviest of hearts. I have and will be praying for Hope, for Sadie and for you and your husband. You are so dearly loved. I believe the Lord will heal Hope, we know He can!

    Praying, praying, praying...

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  53. I have been drawn to your blog the last couple of days because of a friend who shared about you on fb. I woke up this morning thinking of precious Hope and I am saddened by the struggle that she is going through, but I also know that she is also sitting in our Gods hands. He will bring you and your family through this, He has a plan! Take comfort in knowing that there are so many lifting you all up in prayer. I pray for answers and especially pray for a healing on little Hopes tummy so that the bleeding will stop. Bless you in your day today and may you find a little glimmer of something good!

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  54. Thank you for being so real and honest and open.....you and your family are an inspiration to all who read this blog. Our family is praying for yours. We are praying for peace, comfort, and we pray that god will wrap his loving arms around you and just love you during this time. Hugs to you!

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