Friday, 18 May 2012

Turtle Speed

Some days in the hospital go very quickly, today was not one of them.  I'm a bit afraid of the long weekend, a lot of the specialists we see won't be working.  It could be a long 3 days for Hope and me.  I spent lunch and dinner with Sadie today, that helped break up some of the time.  Our room starts to feel really small after a few days of being in here.  It's a good thing the nurses come in and out, it gives you a little bit of social interaction.

Hope was started on Q2 feeds this morning, after I told the cardiologist I thought she could handle it.  He was willing to try it, if I was up for sticking close to be sure she didn't start barfing when no one was watching.  She has been on Q2 for 7 hours now and hasn't thrown up at all!!  I'm very proud of her and hoping she will continue to tolerate these feeds and be able to move up to Q3.  

I still want to establish breastfeeding with Hope, but am being cautious today.  I don't want to make her throw up and have to go back to Q1.  I feel like it's more important to work out her tummy issues and then focus on breastfeeding.  Everyone is still aiming to have us out of here when her antibiotics are done and I am more than happy to go!  8 more days until her last dose of antibiotics.  We can only pray she doesn't get sick in the meantime. 

Tonight, as I reheated our dinners in the microwave, the mom from the room next door started chatting with me.  As she shared her story and cried while she hugged me, I was reminded again just how fortunate we are.  Her daughter is in palliative care and is not doing well, she almost died herself in delivery and lost her uterus as a result.  This was their first child and will now be their last.  She was having a rough day and needed a friend.  I need to remember that even when I feel consumed with my own situation, I'm still able to love others.  There are still people hurting all around me and I believe that God can give me the strength to be an encouragement here.  It's so easy to forget to look up and notice those around you.

Shawn and I feel like we are both single parents right now, each raising one of our girls.  It's not the most ideal situation and we sure miss being together.  I have a new respect for single parents, it's not easy to feel like you never get a break.  We've already started dreaming about a vacation away from it all, just the two of us!  

As boring as living in the hospital can be at times, we are so encouraged by the progress Hope is making and look forward to bringing her home.  We have to remind ourselves that we have walked through days where we didn't think Hope would make it until evening.  She is so strong, and even though she still has to fight until her second surgery, we believe she can do it.  

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